I once met a man. He was beautiful. And no, I don’t mean that he was purely attractive, though he possessed that quality as well. Because he was gay and currently in a relationship with another man I felt the freedom to go ahead and adore him. I loved working with him and just being around him. Every room seemed brighter when he was in it.
And then one day he had to go away. And I felt like the world had just given me a dose of unfairness. I wasn’t ready to let go of him yet.
I will be honest, I did not miss him. I couldn't. I never loved him. All I loved was how he made me feel and so that is all I missed.
That’s when I decided there’s two kinds of love. The kind where we love someone regardless of how they make us feel and the kind where we love someone because of the way they make us feel.
Here’s what happens when you’re loved because of how you make someone else feel…you are easily replaced and you will be replaced. It’s like an emotional one night stand. As soon as you stop giving you will be discarded for the next victim and you with all your goodness will become a fleeting memory.
There’s something slightly horrible about how detached the concept is, but yet there’s a shred of beauty in it. I’m not sure why. Maybe because it is so easy to bounce back.
Leanne
To me, it's beautiful because conditional love is still very much love. And it's beautiful because although time guarantees loss, love's existence still demonstrates for your muscles what is possible.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely keep posting blogs, L.
J.M. That was profound. I like your point of view. I like it very much. I suppose if we unconditionally loved everyone we formed a connection with the significance of unconditional love would be undermined in some way. And exercising conditional love, regardless of its motives, has given me lovely experiences I wouldn't want to not have.
ReplyDeleteThanks, :)