Thursday, September 30, 2010

Evil: It’s beautiful.

I like to get inside the mind. Stand close to me and I might just try to get inside yours. Most of you probably wont understand this, but then again maybe you will…

I want control. I want to feel in control of something. If I don’t then I feel insecure and I start reaching for a solid object. If I reach, but don’t feel anything then I’ll create it. I don’t want to feel vulnerable. It makes me feel worthless. 

I’ll hate you. I’ll second guess your motives. You can’t be nice to me because I don’t want you to be. You can’t get through to me because if I let you through then that will show me how weak the surroundings I’ve created are. And I wont feel secure anymore. So I’m back to hating you. It’s not personal, it’s just that I know you’re a fracked up witch. 

Yes, yes, I’m feeling much better. 

Let me do whatever I want to my body. You say it’s bad for me. I don’t care. It’s my body and I have control over it. 

What about religion? Well, God, I don’t like you anymore. I’m not angry at you. I can control my emotions. I just don’t like you. Something in the back of my mind is telling me I’m on the right track. 

I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to invade your circle and effect you, I just don’t want you inside of mine. And I surely don’t want to see sympathy. That might make me cry. I just want to hate you and I want you to feel it just enough so that you keep your distance from me. 

Have you heard of witchcraft? It sounds lovely. The allure of an ouija board. No, I’m not bored. To think I could connect to the other side. I would be stronger. 

False security. False power. False strength. False control. You’re evil, but you feel so beautiful.

Disclaimer: This is not my mental state, at the moment. However, these are human emotions that will probably show themselves in one way or another in everyone.


Monday, September 27, 2010

Honesty is a Virtue. Detecting a Liar is A Skill.

I like being able to know when people are lying to me. It's helpful.

How a woman is most likely to lie.

Man: Why were you late?

Woman: Oh, well you know how Judy is, I couldn’t get out the door she kept on talking her lipstick off. It’s probably for the better, isn’t that red color awful on her? Then traffic was a mess. I swear we slowed down to 25 mph on the highway!”

How a man is typically going to lie.

Woman: Why were you late?

Man: Lost track of time.

A woman will cover up a lie with detail. A man gives one liners.

Also, remember:

1. Hear No Evil.
2. See No Evil.
3 Speak No Evil.

People tend to touch these places in some way when they are lying.

Now, they might be more apt to look you in the eye because they know it will be their reaction to want to look away. This one depends on how smart of a person you’re dealing with.

If they touch their nose, as was observed in the Lewinsky Scandal  with Bill Clinton years later, it is a sign they are lying. Tried and true. Mafia is a great one for this too.

Apparently, they will also look towards their ears if repeating a lie someone told them to say. I have experienced this one a couple of times. It’s pretty cool when you know not to accept someone’s answer because they gave themselves away.

Now here’s the real kicker, if you are an attractive person people believe you more than an unattractive person. So, if you’re ugly, don’t take it personally when people don’t believe you.


Thursday, September 23, 2010

Streaking for Everyone!

There is only one reason why I think streaking should never be legal, and it’s not because of indecent exposure. On the contrary, I applaud such things as nude beaches.

I am against streaking because it would not be good for the economy. If people stopped wearing clothes stores would go out of business, families would go hungry, and fashion would be a lost art.      

However, it is only the bounds of culture that keep minds shut off from such an idea.


Sunday, September 19, 2010

A Passing Love

I once met a man. He was beautiful. And no, I don’t mean that he was purely attractive, though he possessed that quality as well. Because he was gay and currently in a relationship with another man I felt the freedom to go ahead and adore him. I loved working with him and just being around him. Every room seemed brighter when he was in it.

And then one day he had to go away. And I felt like the world had just given me a dose of unfairness. I wasn’t ready to let go of him yet.

I will be honest, I did not miss him. I couldn't. I never loved him. All I loved was how he made me feel and so that is all I missed.

That’s when I decided there’s two kinds of love. The kind where we love someone regardless of how they make us feel and the kind where we love someone because of the way they make us feel.

Here’s what happens when you’re loved because of how you make someone else feel…you are easily replaced and you will be replaced. It’s like an emotional one night stand. As soon as you stop giving you will be discarded for the next victim and you with all your goodness will become a fleeting memory.    

There’s something slightly horrible about how detached the concept is, but yet there’s a shred of beauty in it. I’m not sure why. Maybe because it is so easy to bounce back.


Thursday, September 9, 2010

All You Glossed Up

There is a group of people, scattered around the world that live in this bubble (if you’re part of this group then yes, I’m talking about you) that resembles Candy Land. They have class, they have brains, and they have beauty, but what they lack in is empathy----the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes.

A girl sleeps around. She gets labeled as a slut. And that’s where it ends.

Women were built to feel the need to be loved and adored. If they are not getting that in some form then they will go and find it. If their relationship is lacking with God then you can’t tell them to, “Let God fill that space,” because it isn’t going to work.

They’re going to go to the boy next door because he promises to fill that need. And he’s going to fill it now. Immediate gratification. This doesn’t make them a bad person. It doesn’t justify the action either.

But as Christians we understand that we have something better. We have God and that trumps the activities we might engage in. In fact, God satisfies us so much we don’t even really think about anything else drastic.

Now, it can be hard enough when you are a Christian and you’re in the “know”, but just think how hard it is for someone who isn’t. No duh they find sex, drugs, cutting their wrists an attractive way to go.

Speaking of cutting your wrists, it is often motivated by a feeling of self-worthlessness, guilt, relief from emotional pain…however, some do it for fun. I once met a girl who did it for fun. I think I just stared at her when she said it, thinking to myself, “Now that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” I didn’t know why someone would do that for fun. I still don’t know why.

Despite the fact that I can’t understand that or many other things doesn’t mean that there isn’t a reason and that they don’t feel whatever it is that’s inspiring them to do whatever it is they’re doing.

Important Note: Bats are responsible for pollinating your tequila. So the next time you find you and tequila getting tight, remember to thank those bats.


Monday, September 6, 2010

I Want to Watch You Sleep at Night

I am officially 19 years old today, which means three things. First, I have no health insurance now. Second, I can no longer fly for free on Horizon airlines. Third, despite all that I welcome the age.  

According to recent studies, your sleep position correlates to your character. How incriminating.

Here they are all summed up:

1. Curled up

Tough on the outside but not as tough on the inside as one would think.

2. On Your Side, Arms down.

You’re social, easy going, trusting…maybe a little too trusting

3. On Your Side, Arms Out.

Open-minded, negative, cynical, and stubborn. The worst one to have to deal with.

4. On Your Back

Introverted type character. High self directed morals.

5. On Your Stomach, Arms Under or Wrapped Around Head or Pillow

You are the extroverted personality, but don’t like to be critiqued.

6. On Your Stomach, Arms Up

 Good listeners, helpful, and are uncomfortable being the center of attention.

You most likely will think that you are a combination of all of them, but you’re not. And this is simply a documented trend. Just because you sleep on your back doesn’t mean you have high standards, so don’t get offended if the collected data is off and you complain because you instead have no morals. I personally, would never take the liberty to put a halo on your head and deem you a good person.  

And don’t be surprised if you wake up and find me hovering above you, taking notes on the way you sleep…


P.S. All viewers present are more than welcome to FB me and tell me where you live.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

And Eve’s Eyes Were Opened

I was driving in the rain the other day and experiencing hydroplaning to a higher degree for the first time. I find it easier to give sound effects when in moments like these, so saying things like, “Oh my!” or screaming is not a sign of an occurring problem; it is simply me expressing myself. But when I realized I might be scaring my passenger beside me I decided it probably wasn’t a good idea.

Actually, my sister Sierra was handling it with a surprising amount of ease.

I’ve also decided that since I started driving I have become more paranoid than I used to be. I think it’s because I suddenly realize that it does in fact take time to stop the car, once brake pressure has been applied, and that things happen quickly on the road and you don’t always have time to react. Knowledge is wonderful, but there was something nice about being ignorant. Like Eve before she ate the fruit.    

Talking about fruit, my other sister once pinned a bunch of fig leaves to her clothes (completely brilliant idea) for a Halloween party at AWANA (for all of you who don’t know what that is…it’s okay. It’s not detrimental) and came as Eve. I wanted to come as David, dancing before the Lord, but I couldn’t find a linen ephod.


P.S. My mom has an imaginary brake on her side of the car. I think I might have one too, depending on how oblivious to the road you seem.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

A Note to the Beautiful

I hope you never understand these feelings. When I lay down to cry I hope your mind goes blank. When you ask me what’s wrong, I hope you will accept my lame excuses, because if I told you then I couldn’t sleep in the innocence of your arms, and what good would two lost souls be to the world without one to bring the other back? So, please don’t travel down this path with me, let me push you away. I don’t mind what’s inside my head, as long as you remain in the beauty of your ignorance.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

He Thinks She's Attractive...But So Do I

If a person wants to go to bars, get drunk, and commit every immoral deed for their weekend then it doesn’t matter if you throw them into church and give them a good dose of Christianity, they are still going to do it. So save your breath and stop talking.

Not to say that there’s nothing you can do to help, but once a person gets something stuck in their head you are probably not going to be able to talk them out of it.

A confused friend of mine has been “searching for the light” for some time now. I have sat through conversations of the Muslim faith, Evolution, Christianity, and after listening and sharing Christianity when he brought it up (don’t want to shove it down anyone) for about three years, he recently informed me he is sold on Buddhism. I don't think anything I said made a difference.

It’s a hard realization that often times all you can do is sit back and watch them go down the fast track to nowhere. Positive side is that at least there’s a way back and you’ll be there if they decide to come back. But seriously, once you've said what you've said, you should probably shut up.

And now on a more serious note, it cracks me up is when girls say to their boyfriends, “Were you looking at her?”

Here’s why.

Women were created beautifully. Women find women attractive (studies show, not in a sexual way, though there are exceptions.) Men find women attractive (no studies needed). Men look women up and down. But…women look women up and down too. We simply have better peripheral vision so we don’t need to move our heads, hence we get away with it.

So the next time a girl accuses a man of looking at another woman, just know that she was probably “looking” at the other woman too.  

It explains why we can say, “Cute shoes!”