Imagine there’s a fence and you’re either on one side or the other. One side is filled with people who say, life is nothing but awesome! When they do complain they complain about how boys are such jerks and how it’s so hard to find a pair of jeans that fit right. Gender depending of course. As for the males, they seem to like to find a way to show how smart they are; which they generally are. But when you say something abstract or depressing you are met with blank looks.
The other side of the fence is where you find people who understand more complex feelings that don’t stop at, I’m still single…like oh my God!
This is not to undermine those feelings. They say everyone feels their own pain to the same extent. It’s very real to us no matter how minor. Sometimes when I’m at my studio and find myself talking to someone who’s day is ruined because of a minor occurrence I have to pause and realize that because it’s a big deal to them, and for no other reason then that, I will look at it as a big deal too. Kind of like the sister code. Someone made you upset? Ok…who am I hating today? :)
We will seek out the company of people who have simply said I understand or who we think wont judge us. This opinion is probably biased from living in a small town. The only negative side of small towns are the people.
At one point I reasoned with a dear relative of mine a particular behavior and why someone would do it. He said he couldn’t understand the correlation in regards to himself, but could understand how someone else might do that to achieve that outcome.
He could wrap his mind around it because of his past experiences. The result is an empathetic person as apposed to a judgmental person. Or in the least a person who can understand. Ever said something and had someone stare at you with that blank look and then say, “You’re weird,”?
So if you find yourself being confused by the things other people say then…well, you know what side of the fence you’re on. If you can't understand where someone is coming from...try.
I have to add that the beautiful aspect of metal music or music where they scream 1/4 of the time (AFI is the best) is that it’s kind of like finding common ground in an inpersonal way. They’re screaming about something and if you listen to them it’s kind of like screaming with them. It doesn’t have to be about the same thing or even matter what it's about.